What is black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
***
What is black and white and laughing?
The penguin that pushed him.
***
Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
***
Name an animal that lives in Lapland?
A reindeer
Good, now name another.
Another reindeer!
***
Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree.
After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground.
After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts.
Finally, the female bird turned to her mate.
"Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."

Zuza

What did the vampire do to stop his son biting his nails?
He cut all his fingers off.

What's a vampire's favorite sport?
Batminton.

What do vampires have at eleven o'clock every day?
A coffin break.

Where do vampires go on holiday?
To the Isle of Fright.

What do vampires cross the sea in?
Blood vessels.

Why was Baron Frankenstein never lonely?
Because he was good at making friends.

Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.

What did Frankenstein's monster say when he was struck by lightning?
'Great! That was just what I needed.'

What should you do if you find yourself in the same room as Frankenstein, Dracula, a werewolf, a vampire and a coven of witches?
Keep your fingers crossed that it's a fancy dress party.

Mommy, Mommy, what's a werewolf?
Don't worry about that and comb your face.

How do you stop a werewolf howling in the back of a car?
Put him in the front.

What do you get if you cross a hairdresser with a werewolf?
A monster with an all-over perm.

What do you get if you cross a witch with a werewolf?
A mad dog that chases airplanes.

Klara