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CoolWhat's the definition of a pessimist? A pessimist is a well-informed optimist.


CoolFive Englishmen boarded a train just behind five Scots, who, as a group had only purchased one ticket. Just before the conductor came through, all the Scots piled into the toilet stall at the back of the car. As the conductor passed the stall, he knocked and called"Tickets, please!" and one of the Scots slid a ticket under the door. It was punched, pushed back under the door, and when it was safe all the Scots came out and took their seats. The Englishmen were tremendously impressed by the Scots' ingenuity. On the trip back, the five Englishmen decided to try this themselves and purchased only one ticket. They noticed that, oddly, the Scots had not purchased any tickets this time. Anyway, again, just before the conductor came through, the Scots piled into one of the toilet stalls, the Englishmen into the other. Then one of the Scots leaned out, knocked on the Englishmen's stall and called "Ticket, Please!" When the ticket slid out under the door, he picked it up and quickly closed the door


CoolAt an auction in Manchester a wealthy American announced that he had lost his wallet containing £10,000 and would give a reward of £100 to the person who found it.
From the back of the hall a Scottish voice shouted, "I'll give £150!"

CoolTeacher: Maria please point to America on the map.
Maria: This is it.
Teacher: Well done.
Now class, who found America?
Class: Maria did.

Basia, Natalia


WinkTwo blondes are waiting at a bus stop.

When a bus pulls up and opens the door, one of the blondes leans inside and asks the bus driver:`Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?`

The bus driver shakes his head and says,`No, I`m sorry.`

At this the other blonde leans inside, smiles, and twitters: `Will it take ME?`


WinkQ: Why did the blonde keep a picture of herself in her room?

A: So she could use it as a mirror.

WinkWhat is the longest word in the English language? 'Smiles'.  Because there is a mile between its first and last letters.

WinkWhat did Anne Boleyn's mother say when her daughter said that she had fallen in love with Henry the VIII and was going to marry him? That man's not worth losing your head over.

Basia T., Natalia P.

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